Dear Ralph

Bring me some Advil.

Portland? How Do I Keep Ending Up Here?

Math Dude and I made our way south to Portland for some lame ass work-related meeting. But the meeting isn't until Wednesday so we spent the day on the links, playing a Skins match for dinner. The final scores are as follows:

-GVB 92, Math Dude 99
-GVB 3 lost Calloway Golf Balls ($14)
-Skins Match: GVB 10, Math Dude 8

I am happy to say that I won the Skins Match on a 10 foot birdie putt after a perfect 8 Iron to an island green. Math Dude even made it interesting by chipping in for his par before I lined up my putt.

Dinner at some dive steak house (I had the tomato linguine and some martini). Then some truly tragic trailer park action at Hooters. Yup. There's a Hooters across the street from the hotel. So sad...

More golf tomorrow.

Still no word on the 'Hood. I hope they don't sink her.

You Aren't Here

See all those boats? More than 2,000 of them. Look closely at C Dock South. See an O'Day 302 there? No? THAT'S BECAUSE THOSE F&*%^RS AT MARINE SERVICE CENTER HAVEN'T FINISHED THE WORK YET!

Cap'n Ron and I arrived at the yard in Anacortes at 9:30. By 11:00 they splashed the boat. By noon we were turning around because the prop wasn't working.

Bottom line? We lost one of the best sailing days of the year. The 'Hood is 2 weeks overdue and $1,000 over budget. GVB is PISSED. Mrs GVB called to yell at them and get a promise that they will be delivering my boat back to Everett for me next week.

On the plus side, I did sit on Allegro and entertain a six-pack of Mirror Pond.

Off to the Rose City tomorrow. I seriously doubt this trip will be as good as the last to that part of the northwest, but I will be dining (read: drinking good wine) with Ralph-o-matic on Wednesday.

GIVE ME BACK MY BOAT YOU F&*%^RS! R

Faces

Two images of yourself you never need to see:

Your "O" face,

and

Your breathing face while swimming.

They're surprisingly similar.

Hot day today, so I went inside, of course. Did 1000 yards freestyle followed by 1000 yards with the pull buoy. Finished off with 100 yards of kicking, some sauna time, and a late lunch by the water where the 'Hood is supposed to be. Sniffle.

BUT, if all goes well, the 'Hood will be home on Monday night, complete with new batteries, a new charger, new AC wiring, new engine mounts, a new prop, and a new dripless shaft seal. All for free. I'm sure of it. Cap'n Ron will join me for the trip south. No beer will be consumed. Weather report? Weird. So we are on the official "fuck it" plan. Head south and expect everything. I have the reef lines set...

In other unrelated news...I think I just hired CAG? Am I old and lame enough that my former students are teaching for me now? Time to retire. Cap'n, I need a high paying job with summers off. Hook me up.

In further unrelated news: Am I really on the hook for a golf outing in Portland this week? Yikes. I've played exactly one round of golf in the last year. Should be interesting. Let's keep those stakes low boys. The good news here is that Portland means Ralph time. Dinner and drinks? You betcha!

And a note for the men at my gym. Two words: hair management. Sheesh. It isn't a crime to trim that shit once in a while.

More soon after the 'Hood is home.

Short and Sweet

Nice ride today around Camano Island. 38 miles or so at 17 mph with one bombing downhill at 48 mph. Starting to finally get used to the bike after 900 miles. As the comfort level goes up, so goes the chances of taking a big digger. At 48 mph you're just trying to miss the biggest of the rocks and cracks in the road and hoping if you hit one you can hang on. Still, passing cars full of tourists? Pure fun.

You can get the data here.

Also did a 500/500 in the pool.

I'm wrecked. Tomorrow some weights.

More later.

Out.

Bottoming Out: Weirdness Abounds

10:00 a.m. - Phone Call from Cap'n Ron
NOTICEABLE IN THE BACKGROUND IS THE DRONING OF A DIESEL ENGINE

Cap'n Ron: Hey. You've been through Swinomish Channel, right?
GVB: Uh. Yeah. Why?
CR: We missed slack at Deception Pass so we're going to go through the channel to get up to the San Jans.
GVB: Oh. Go north to Skagit Bay, turn east, stay in the channel.
CR: Ok. I wish my depth sounder was working...


6:00 p.m. - Excerpt from Email from Cap'n Ron
FROM: CAP'N RON
TO: GVB
SUBJECT: FINALLY AT SUCIA ISLAND

...I did come up the channel... mostly by brail. I don't think this keel can ever say she has scraped her bottom more times. We actually ran pretty hard aground once... took a bit of coaxing to get her off...


Boat Weirdness Abounds
The 'Hood is still up on stands in Anacortes. The engine bone's connected to the transmission bone...the transmission bone's connected to the propeller bone...etc. The problem with letting a great mechanic dig through your boat is that he will find everything that needs to be fixed, and he will charge you to fix them. Batteries? Sure. Charger? What the hell. AC Inverter? Of course!

Estimated completion date: The exact last day of cruising season. Whenever that is.

The'Lion and the Buoys

Skipper Krumm wants to race the old tub this fall. Ok. Did you put in that auxilary cooler we have been asking for? How about that clever little sign that reads: "Have You Flogged Your Crew Today"?

Other Things
1. Despite a nasty little chest cold, I couldn't resist some pedaling time last night. Today I will do my best to keep from hacking up a lung in the pool.

2. Watched "The Lords of Dogtown" last night. Awesome. Heath Ledger as SoCal skateboard pioneer Skip Engblom? Perfect. Any of you punks who remember the old empty pools and banked sidewalk skating of the '70s and '80s have to watch this movie.

3. On Shuffle Play, the Nano served up not two, not three, not four, but FIVE straight Donavon Frankenreiter tunes on my last ride. Any statisticians care to tell me the odds of this on a 567 song playlist? Show your work.

4. The Looming Tower by Lawrence Wright? Read that one.

5. Do we really need Back to School sales in July? Just wondering.

6. The World Series of Poker has ended. The winner gets over 12 million. I know it's a big deal to win a tournament with over 8,000 people involved, but doesn't the fact that the same person never wins or even comes close to winning twice in row suggest that the game is more or less washed out? When dudes from Fresno who learned to play on the Internet can take down Poker "legends" with a hand of King-8, something is wrong.

7. Today's Statistically Improbable Parenting Phrase: "Son, those are your sister's panties. Put them back and get your own."

Playing Catch Up

Hey look, I have a blog. Last you heard we were at Rosario with a broken boat and some happy kids. A lot has happened. Let's catch up.

Heading away from Rosario:

The plan was to go to Blind Bay for a night and then on to South Pender Island in the Canadian Gulf Islands. Several forces (the least of which was a very unhappy diesel engine) found us turning east instead of west. The 'Hood is now on the hard in Anacortes, in the capable hands of Marine Service Center. New engine mounts, new hoses, a new propeller, new propeller shaft seal, new AC wiring, etc. etc. etc.

We should have her back this week. Collective finger crossing, everyone.

Beach House:

A little boatless vacation on Hood Canal. Beach, sun, sand, seafood...Logged a nice run today. You can see it here.

I've given up the playlists. I'm letting go and letting Shuffle Play dictate my world. So far, so good. The trick to Shuffle Play is to not be too quick to delete songs from the iPod. There are some gems in the back of some of these albums. Here is what the Patron Saint of Shuffle Play served me today:

Too Much Food – Jason Mraz
Since I Seen’t You – Anthony Hamilton
Stay With You – John Legend
You Had Me – Joss Stone
Break Down – Tom Petty and the Heatbreakers
Runnin’ With the Devil – Van Halen
Less is More – Joss Stone
Morning Yearning – Ben Harper
She Don’t Have to Know – John Legend
Road Buddy – Dar Williams
Spectrum – Animal Liberation Orchestra
Engraved Invitation – Ben Harper
Just the Way You Are – Billy Joel
Yes I’m Ready – Barbara mason
Fooled Around and Fell in Love – Elvin Bishop

All great songs. "Engraved Invitation" is a great running song when the fuel starts getting low. And I can't get enough Joss Stone these days. It's like my Nano knows me. Creepy.

A short fast run in the morning to keep things loose and then it's back to the city-side of the water. Rumor is that I am expected at work on Thursday. What?! Can't The Colleague take care of all of this shit? Oh. She has been? My bad.

Oh, and the move-in date for New Casa GVB is set for September 29. Warm up your backs, everyone. Once everything is in the house, all the beer you can drink. Except you, Cap'n. I can't afford that much beer.

P.S. Vegas, Baby!!! Stay tuned.