In case anyone wanted evidence that Kokua was amazing...
2020 Coffeeneuring Review
3 years ago
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Saturday, April 28, 2007
I Can See Into the Future
It's time I came clean to you all. I have a time machine at home. So I can see the future. Here's what the rest of this week will look like:
Saturday
The crew of Dent de Lion will race in late and variable winds under partly cloudy skies to a mid-pack finish after several tactical errors and shifting wind directions. GVB will be crewing the good ship Parenthood with a crew of two.
GVB and Cap'n Ron will celebrate the repair of Allegro's diesel wind by emptying the icebox of anything with three initials on the lable (IPA and ESB come to mind).
The former Mrs. GVB will make snide comments about the relative ease of GVB's life. Examples: "Must be nice to be able to hang out on the boat all day", "I remember when I used to be invited to sail with you", etc.
Sunday
GVB will join Cap'n Ron for a nice easy 10 miler.
Later that day, GVB will give his first full pace swim workout of the season a try: 3 x 500 at race speed. Yikes.
Even later that day, GVB will crash massively while trying to grade the last of his students' ultra shitty mid term essays.
Monday
While at work, GVB will lose his patience with some of his "colleagues" and finally explode. It won't be pretty.
After work, GVB will run a nice easy 8 mile loop somewhere near The Castle, where he will later crash massively while trying to grade the essays he was supposed to grade on Sunday. Students will begin to ask where their essays are.
Tuesday
After listening to Paolo Nutini's "New Shoes" for the millionth time, GVB will finally replace the shoes he is pretty sure are responsible for the broken bone in his left foot. Then, buoyed by the new kicks, he won't be able to resist trying them out even though Tuesday is an off day.
Later, GVB will skip out on his planned weight lifting time. Slacker.
Wednesday
Nothing of note will happen on this day until GVB's kids invade the 305 once again. GVB will be conned into taking the kids to dinner once again, despite telling them that they would be eating at home.
Thursday
GVB and The Colleague will engage in their own odd version of co-parenting, followed by an evening of food prep for the coming weekend's Cinco de Mayo themed birthday beach bash for The Former Student's Current Boyfriend. Menu as yet undetermined.
Friday
GVB will endure yet another Department Meeting during which Sweater Girl will verbally abuse him and attempt to passively undermine his job performance, at which time GVB will calmly pack up his shit and leave the meeting with a smile and nice "Fuck You" to Sweater Girl and her partner in crime, Pear-Shaped Woman.
Once the meeting is over, GVB and The Colleague will fire up the A3 and head to the coast for a weekend of food, wine, and friends.
Cap'n Ron will be in full stress mode about the coming Marathon.
Saturday
*********Censored***********
Sunday
Cap'n Ron will lace 'em up and drop a 3:45 on the city of Vancouver, fueling his goal of qualifying for the Boston Marathon and ramping up his plan to train even harder for the Portland 'Thon in the fall. This goal will cancel the STP goal, which GVB will be secretly happy about.
Monday, April 23, 2007
...Made Out of Real Things...
MAHALO
The 2007 Kokua Festival has come and gone, and The Colleague and I are back on the mainland after a little weekend getaway to Hawaii. It didn’t suck.
Highlights for your reading pleasure, in no particular order:
1. It is still possible to crash a resort pool by acting like you belong there. “Put those drinks on Underhill…”
2. Late night sushi. Solid work by the chefs at the Kobe Steak House in Honolulu.
3. Kona Big Wave Pale Ale
4. Matt Costa, Ernie Cruz Jr., Eddie Vedder, and Jack Johnson? Really?
5. Eddie Vedder singing Jack Johnson’s “Constellations”.
6. Jack Johnson singing Pearl Jam’s “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town”.
7. I’ll tell you one thing: we’re better together. Ask Jack.
8. Sun, tradewinds, sand, surf, beer.
HERE’S SOMETHING EVEN AL CAN ENJOY
It’s easy to hate Alex Rodriguez if you’re from Seattle. And it’s easy to hate the Yankees if you’re from anywhere but Manhattan. So to watch A-Rod smash home run after home run this April while his team loses 4 in a row? Classic.
IS IT APRIL OR SEPTEMBER?
Not even May yet and the Seattle media is already calling for Mike Hargrove to be fired. Sure, he sucks as a manager (and has for the last 6 years and 3 teams), but since when does April determine a baseball season?
Now, that little rant aside, the hometown nine suck out loud and will finish last in the division AGAIN this year. Horrifying. And they’re going to lose Ichiro in trade. I can see it coming. Enjoy him in a Mets uniform, Al.
GUN CONTROL MEANS USING TWO HANDS
A note to my student who wrote the following in the online classroom Discussion Board:
This thing at V-Tech just proves that gun control doesn’t work. We have gun laws and still this asian kid was able to buy a gun and kill innocent students just like us. If someone in that classroom had a gun there is no way 32 people would of died. Read the second amendment people!
Dear Student:
I am terribly sorry you missed both the class on logical fallacies AND the class on sentence structures and grammatical word choice. Also? You’re a racist idiot.
Sincerely,
The Professor.
DRIFTSURE? OR SWIFTSURE
Cap’n Ron and I have crew spots for the Swiftsure race onboard Blade Runner in May. More to follow, but this race is always either a driftfest or a full on gale. We’ll see…
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Committed (I Should Be)
With the Sun Run bagged and the Vancouver Marathon a scratch because of the broken paw, I needed SOMETHING to get me motivated to get my fat ass back in shape (in the 6 weeks since the "break" I have gained 10 pounds, all beer).
So here's what's on tap:
•June 30th: Lake Padden Triathlon (Bellingham). Swim .5 mile, Bike 21 miles, Run 5.2 miles. This will be the first Tri of the new career.
•July 14th: Seattle to Portland in a Day. 204 miles on the Fuji, sucking Cap'n Ron's tire.
•August 4th: Race the Rock Triathlon (Whidbey Island).Swim .5 mile, Bike 19.5 miles, Run 3.8 miles
And fuck it. As long as we're signing up for shit, how about another marathon? NYC is lovely in fall. I entered the lottery for the NYC Marathon. If I get in, I'm going. If not? I'll run Portland in the fall. Am I insane?
So here's what's on tap:
•June 30th: Lake Padden Triathlon (Bellingham). Swim .5 mile, Bike 21 miles, Run 5.2 miles. This will be the first Tri of the new career.
•July 14th: Seattle to Portland in a Day. 204 miles on the Fuji, sucking Cap'n Ron's tire.
•August 4th: Race the Rock Triathlon (Whidbey Island).Swim .5 mile, Bike 19.5 miles, Run 3.8 miles
And fuck it. As long as we're signing up for shit, how about another marathon? NYC is lovely in fall. I entered the lottery for the NYC Marathon. If I get in, I'm going. If not? I'll run Portland in the fall. Am I insane?
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Abort! Abort!
DriftFest 2007
2 years ago, the brave crew of Dent de Lion sailed 3/4 of the way around a big fucking island in the 'Round Whidbey Regatta before giving up in the wee hours of the morning, calculating that we couldn't reach the finish line by the time limit given the shitty conditions (read: no wind, opposing current, Cap'n Ron having a calorie crash in the cabin, and Miller starting to very publicly miss having sex with his wife). So we motored back to Everett and called it a race. Sometime between the time we went to sleep and when we woke, the remaining boats on the course caught a miracle southerly breeze and finished in Oak Harbor with hours to spare.
After that we vowed to not abandon any more races.
And then came yesterday. Race #2 of the Mid Distance Series started off with a ghost of an easterly wind, the threat of heavy rain, and at least two hung over crew members. After it took us two hours and 5 miles of actual sailing (both forward AND backward) to reach the first mark (only .8 miles from the start, by the way) GVB was sure it was time to cash it in. But wait! This is the NEW 'Lion ethic, and besides, we were in first place by at least 40 minutes, since we were the only ones to have reached the first mark...So we drifted on, caught a few little zephyrs and managed to get to the second "mark" of the course: Hat Island. With a 7 hour time limit, we needed to average at least 5 knots to make the shortened finish line...no way. Still, we pressed on. We suffered this far (I counted 5 spinnaker sets with 2 different chutes...sailing in no air is hard damn work) so we were going to sail that tub across the line...With the time limit rapidly approaching as we willed our way around the island, a little miracle: the race committee had the brains and balls to shorten the course at the east edge of the island. The only two boats left in the race at this point finished, with the 'Lion comfortably in front on corrected time.
Fuck Canada. It's Like a Whole Different Country!
After the "race" I was planning to drive north to Vancouver to join Cap'n Ron for our annual SunRun fiasco. I love this race, but the foot just isn't up for it yet, and for the first time in my life I listened to the voice in my head that said "don't do it, man. Don't DO it!"
I didn't do it. I moped back to the 305 and opted instead to hang with The Colleague for the night. Who knows where the voice in my head came from, but listening to the news on the way to The Castle last night validated my bailout. Listen to all of the threes in this traffic report:
"3 car pileup on I-5 north of Everett. 3 lanes blocked. Significant backups."
"At the Blaine border crossing: 3 hour wait getting into British Columbia"
Fuck that. Still, it would have been fun to race with the Cap'n, who went out and averaged 7:13 per mile. He was over 10 minutes faster than last year. Stud. Next up for the Cap'n is the Vancouver Marathon. I'm going to put my money on race time well under 4:00 for the Cap'n. After that? I plan to beat his ass to Portland in the STP.
Ride? Ouch
Today was a beautiful Seattle spring day. Cool, sunny, and not a breath of wind (see yesterday's race conditions only add sunlight). So while The Colleague and Second Daughter of Colleague went to some ballet spasm, I fired up the Fuji and did a loop of the high rent districts of Woodway, Richmond Beach, and Innis Arden. Fighting some sort of sore throat/upper respiratory thang lately, so the climbs were pretty painful. Still managed a nice 1:20 minute ride with a couple of kick ass climbs mixed in for good measure. Add that to the time at the gym this evening, and it was a nice 3,000 calorie exercise day.
Which Reminds Me...
Before I broke my foot in February:
169 pounds, averaging over 30 miles on the road each week.
Since I brooke my foot:
182 pounts, averaging just over 30 martinis each week.
Time to step up the training...
Aloha
We're out this week for Kokua Festival. We will be buying carbon offsets for all of you who aren't flying a commercial airliner over the Pacific to go to a "green" concert for Earth Day. Ummm....
Mahalo for reading.
2 years ago, the brave crew of Dent de Lion sailed 3/4 of the way around a big fucking island in the 'Round Whidbey Regatta before giving up in the wee hours of the morning, calculating that we couldn't reach the finish line by the time limit given the shitty conditions (read: no wind, opposing current, Cap'n Ron having a calorie crash in the cabin, and Miller starting to very publicly miss having sex with his wife). So we motored back to Everett and called it a race. Sometime between the time we went to sleep and when we woke, the remaining boats on the course caught a miracle southerly breeze and finished in Oak Harbor with hours to spare.
After that we vowed to not abandon any more races.
And then came yesterday. Race #2 of the Mid Distance Series started off with a ghost of an easterly wind, the threat of heavy rain, and at least two hung over crew members. After it took us two hours and 5 miles of actual sailing (both forward AND backward) to reach the first mark (only .8 miles from the start, by the way) GVB was sure it was time to cash it in. But wait! This is the NEW 'Lion ethic, and besides, we were in first place by at least 40 minutes, since we were the only ones to have reached the first mark...So we drifted on, caught a few little zephyrs and managed to get to the second "mark" of the course: Hat Island. With a 7 hour time limit, we needed to average at least 5 knots to make the shortened finish line...no way. Still, we pressed on. We suffered this far (I counted 5 spinnaker sets with 2 different chutes...sailing in no air is hard damn work) so we were going to sail that tub across the line...With the time limit rapidly approaching as we willed our way around the island, a little miracle: the race committee had the brains and balls to shorten the course at the east edge of the island. The only two boats left in the race at this point finished, with the 'Lion comfortably in front on corrected time.
Fuck Canada. It's Like a Whole Different Country!
After the "race" I was planning to drive north to Vancouver to join Cap'n Ron for our annual SunRun fiasco. I love this race, but the foot just isn't up for it yet, and for the first time in my life I listened to the voice in my head that said "don't do it, man. Don't DO it!"
I didn't do it. I moped back to the 305 and opted instead to hang with The Colleague for the night. Who knows where the voice in my head came from, but listening to the news on the way to The Castle last night validated my bailout. Listen to all of the threes in this traffic report:
"3 car pileup on I-5 north of Everett. 3 lanes blocked. Significant backups."
"At the Blaine border crossing: 3 hour wait getting into British Columbia"
Fuck that. Still, it would have been fun to race with the Cap'n, who went out and averaged 7:13 per mile. He was over 10 minutes faster than last year. Stud. Next up for the Cap'n is the Vancouver Marathon. I'm going to put my money on race time well under 4:00 for the Cap'n. After that? I plan to beat his ass to Portland in the STP.
Ride? Ouch
Today was a beautiful Seattle spring day. Cool, sunny, and not a breath of wind (see yesterday's race conditions only add sunlight). So while The Colleague and Second Daughter of Colleague went to some ballet spasm, I fired up the Fuji and did a loop of the high rent districts of Woodway, Richmond Beach, and Innis Arden. Fighting some sort of sore throat/upper respiratory thang lately, so the climbs were pretty painful. Still managed a nice 1:20 minute ride with a couple of kick ass climbs mixed in for good measure. Add that to the time at the gym this evening, and it was a nice 3,000 calorie exercise day.
Which Reminds Me...
Before I broke my foot in February:
169 pounds, averaging over 30 miles on the road each week.
Since I brooke my foot:
182 pounts, averaging just over 30 martinis each week.
Time to step up the training...
Aloha
We're out this week for Kokua Festival. We will be buying carbon offsets for all of you who aren't flying a commercial airliner over the Pacific to go to a "green" concert for Earth Day. Ummm....
Mahalo for reading.
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