Go Fast and Turn a Lot

Cap’n Ron found me a new motorcycle in his non-porn related Internet surfing (of which I understand there is very little). Great bike. Great price. Bad location. Boise? That would be ok. Garden City, Idaho? Are you kidding me?



But this was a BMW 650GS, and it was yellow, and it did have about 3 miles on it. Soooo….Off I fly to Boise, where Former BMW Owner picked me up at the airport.

Question: How can Boise get away with calling themselves the City of Trees? There are six trees. I counted.

Kind of FBO to pick me up at the airport, for sure. But in the hour-long drive back to his house I was schooled on various delightful subjects, including how illegal immigration is killing the economy, how Micron is outsourcing their engineering to China, who of course is stealing our secrets in service of their goal of taking over the USA.

Seriously, this dude is so conservative that he leaves conservative talk radio on in his house to keep his dogs company when he is gone. I’m not making this up.

We arrived at his compound before Cap’n Ron rolled in on his big ass 1200 GS from Lewiston to meet me.

“Hi Cap’n. Get me the FUCK out of here.”

How to break in a new bike? How about an 800 mile ride across Idaho and Washington? Sounds good.

Leg One: Garden City, ID to Clarkston, WA. 250 miles. One bee sting (Cap’n), several stops for food and fuel. GVB is happy with the 60+ miles per gallon he is getting. By Clarkston both Cap’n Ron and GVB are beat. Hotel? check. Cheesy waterfront restaurant with large beers? Check. Massive bedtime crash? Yes.



Leg Two: Clarkston, WA to Coulee City, WA. Lots of miles. I have no idea how many. Here is a photo of Cap’n Ron on one of the alleged roads we took through the Palouse.

Note: I think we caught the Palouse on the one day of the year it is absolutely beautiful. Perfect, in fact.

Note: Lind, WA is a ghost town. Scary. See photo below…

Cap’n Ron Jr. met us in Coulee city on his over-amped Buell.

Leg Three: Coulee City to Everett via Highway 20. Rain, wind, sun, mountains, Canadians (when are they going to build that fence to keep those fuckers out of our country), and sharp turns.

Signs Cap’n Ron likes:








Now? The 650 is all tucked in at the Urban Palace and The Colleague and I are out on the Sound. Sure we’re broken down in Port Townsend, but it beats workin’. More on the sailing fiasco as soon as Larry, Larry, and Darryl get done fixin’ the Hood.

New York in a Bullet List

The Colleague and I headed to the Right Coast for some sort of marriage ceremony in Baltimore (our toast to the bride and groom: "Just because our marriages didn't work doesn't mean yours won't! Cheers!) and then headed to NYC for some actual Right Coast action...

Highlights
•3 hour delay in Denver? Are you kidding me? Nothing like watching The Colleague argue with the taco dude over free guacamole...
•FPP back in the states. Scary.
•The Dragan? Getting reunited with this man can't go well. We'll see.
•The Wedding? Let's just say this: I don't drink white wine. But it was all that was available, and I had several glasses.
•Amtrak. You know what is good? Standing room only from Baltimore to NYC. Way to go Amtrak! I want my money back. And don't forget to give me back my black tee-shirt.
•New York Tourist Checklist: Bar fight? Check. Police action? Check. Dead Rat? Check. Live rats? Check. Long Island Princesses? Check. Central Park? Check. Subway "entertainment"? Check. Downtown Downpour? Check. Surly Bellhop? Check.
•Time on Long Island with Al Bangorhard and the Bangorhard family? Awesome. Thanks Al and Mrs. Al!
•Central Park Running Loop? 6 miles at 8:10 per. Nice run, Al. And those ain't hills, brother.
•Somewhere on the Upper West Side, The Colleague lost her voice over a plate of kick ass sushi. If anyone finds it, send it to us back on the Left Coast.
•Somewhere on the Right Coast, GVB lost control over his spine. Seriously. Where did I sleep after that wedding? My back is still killing me.
•Home. Now all we have to deal with is the backlash from our co-workers who don't have lives...How DARE we travel. Dear Co-Workers: Fuck off.


Next? Cap'n Ron and I are headed to Boise. No, that isn't in France, Ex-Mr Colleague. One free copy of Gravity's Rainbow to the first person to correctly guess why we are going to Idaho...

Also? June 25th marks the first day of summer cruising season. First stop? Port Townsend. Forecast? 80 degrees and windy. See you out there.

Just Thinking About Sailing...