So...a couple of weeks ago I was at the local shoe shop spending insurance money on running shoes (it turns out that if you break your foot while running, Dr. Hilarious refers you to a sports medicine specialist, you can buy kick ass new shoes and call it a medical expense) I saw a pamphlet for the Kirkland Half Marathon.
What the hell? It's just a half. No worries. So I sent out a recruitment letter and got a positive response from Mrs. Math Dude. Let's do it. Sure it's mother's day. But my mom was busy going to see the Mariners beat the Yankees, and the former Mrs. GVB was doing whatever it is she does these days.
So I woke up at O-Dark-Thirty to pick up Mrs. Math Dude and head to the Eastside for a little run.
Side note: why do they insist on starting these things so early? It's unnatural. My body is NOT ready to hit the pavement at 7:30 a.m.
Let me just say this right now: The Kirkland Half Marathon has to be one of the most brutal 13.1 mile courses in the country. It isn't esppecially hard, but the combination of constant climbing and absolute boredom makes the first 9 miles of the race an exercise in tolerance and endurance. I think I ran miles 3-6 with my eyes closed. It was that boring. Just look at the straightaway here...
Here is the course description I sent to RPD in the energy starved moments after the race:
The course? Hard. The first 6 miles are uphill with only one break. I knew the first 2 miles were a climb, but it just kept on going...somewhere around mile 5 I turned to the guy I was running with and said: Are you kidding me with these hills?
Then a lot of steep downhill back into Kirkland. Too steep, actually. Still, it was fast, especially after 6 miles of climbing.
Through downtown was a flat drag. I was burned out by mile 10. At that point it was just a matter of telling myself I could do anything for 25 more minutes.
Then? They throw a steep hill at us leaving downtown Kirkland.
Then? They throw a brutal hill at us at mile 12! Are you kidding me with this?
Mile 13 is half downhill and half flat.
I had nothing left at the finish. Nada. I pushed WAY too hard for not having done any training for this and for coming off of a bad cold. Also? I didn't eat well or hydrate yesterday (long boat race) and I didn't sleep more than 4 hours last night. Lesson learned. Fuel and rest. If I had fuel I could have done 1:35 I think. In fact, coming through miles 8 and 9 I thought I might. Wrong...
I entertained myself along the way by thanking every cop at every intersection.
Here are some highlights and things to note:
•Overall finish place: 94
•Division Place: 21/65
•Gender Place: 75/257
•Overall Time: 1:41:37
•Pace per mile: 7:46
•GU Packs: 3
•Water Stops: 4
•Number of times I grabbed Gatorade by mistake: 2 (vomit potential when drinking Gatorade with a heart rate in the 180 range? high.)
•Average starting price of new single-family homes along the route: $800,000.
•Price GVB's dad paid for a house 4 miles from the race route in 1990? $180,000.
•Percent time GVB had to piss during the race (thanks to massively long porta-john lines at the start): 95%
•First words out of GVB's mouth to The Colleague at the finish line? "This course sucks."
•Number of times GVB saw a hill coming up and said "FUCK!" out loud: 4.
So here is the summary:
Very little training, no sleep the night before, no fuel (forgot to eat dinner the night before and had no breakfast before the race), new shoes, no course knowledge, cold weather...and still I beat my Seattle Half time by 4 minutes.
Plus? I know I could have shaved another two minutes off my time if I had been rested and knew what the course was going to throw at me.
Also? Mrs. Math Dude KICKED ASS, throwing down a 1:45:25, beating her Seattle Half time by almost 11 minutes. And she crossed the finish line looking like she had just showered, changed, and put on makeup. I, on the other hand, looked like hammered crap. Something about running 12 miles at max heart rate that just takes it out of me.
Next up? A nice 10k in Lynnwood with the Cap'n.
And, actually, before that? Swiftsure. Yikes.
5 comments:
As the older, wiser and more handsome of the VB boys, let me begin by asking how anyone, even my sanity challenged little brother, might think that running and Kirkland could go together?
It is logically impossible to think that anyone from Kirkland might be able to run. The inertial mass of silicone is quite high, and there is no way a Kirkland girl could go out shopping with nipple-shaped bruises on her forehead. And the guys...well the guys could and would go shopping…hell, they would probably sit for a portrait with nipple-shaped bruises on their forehead, but until BMW makes running shoes…
So the only people who might run through Kirkland are people from somewhere else, and unless you have the stereo from a BMW in your sweaty hands, there is no good reason to run in Kirkland. Therefore, you have no excuse for not going and ruining your knees someplace else.
I think I'm going to have to side with the elder VB on this one. Kirkland.... really? What were you thinking? Damn fine run none the less. I still say, that with a little focus on training you could do a 3:10 mary.
Cap'n Ron
Elder VB is generally insane but not wrong in this case. And Kirkland is even worse now than it was back in the 1960s when he last lived in the NW.
Hey Cap'n, it's bad enough that you raise the bar with your own 'Thon times, let's not set unrealistic goals for GVB before he even gets to post his first 26.2 ok? Sheesh. For all I know my body can't go farther than 13.1
Unrealistic? No way! Unobtainable? Maybe.
Oh, we know it can go further than 13.1. What we don't know is if it can do it without breaking anything.
Cap'n Ron
GVB:
Kick ASS!!! You're a stud. Nice comeback run. Can't wait til you come east for the NYC marathon.
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