Things That are Long

Fresh off the first of three long runs in preparation for the Seattle Marathon at the end of the month, I thought I would offer up a little run report and some thoughts on things loosely related to such pursuits.

RUNNING IS HARD (Especially When You Do it Wrong)
It's true. Sorry. While most of the running we do isn't hard (it's just tiring) there is a point in long runs where the very act of running three more steps is the hardest thing your body can imagine doing. I made the mistake of choosing a route that would give me a chance to climb some hills in the late miles of my planned 20-miler. The "logic" of the choice? Well, the Seattle Marathon has a hill late in the race, I should see what I can do with that. Moron. Am I the worst in the world at training the way I know I should train? Why didn't I stick with my original plan of running a one-way flat route along the Burke Gilman? The ONLY thing a long run is supposed to do is built endurance. That's it. Run slow and run long. Pace doesn't matter and neither does elevation. Run the track for speed, hills for hills, and long for long. Moron.

Here, for your entertainment, is the elevation profile of the run. Note what happens at mile 10. Then note miles 16-18. That's called "Simonds Road," where marathon dreams go to die...

WHAT NOT TO WEAR: FALL RUNNING EDITION
It's cold out. Right? Not really. It's in the mid 50s, windy, with a chance of rain. So why do I dress like I'm going to be standing on the sidelines of a youth soccer game instead of dressing like I'm going to be exerting myself for 3 hours? Because, in addition to being a moron (see above) I'm also a dumbass. I came very, very close to tossing my brand new Nike running shell around mile 8, hoping maybe it would still be there later when I came back for it. One plus: if a test of your hydration level is how much you are sweating, I can tell you with confidence that I was indeed hydrated.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?
To do any endurance sport (or, I imagine, to survive any sort of imprisonment) you have to be able to hold some pretty interesting conversations with yourself. Here are some things I've tried. None of them work.

1. Counting steps. I read about some famous marathoner counting the number of steps she took in a single mile and then trying to do the next mile in fewer steps. According to her, the "miles just fly by!" Bullshit. I lost interest and count at about 200.
2. Memorizing split times. When I first started running this was one of my standard mind tricks. But then I was only running 5 miles now, wasn't I? On this last run I started memorizing splits after mile 3, but I kept missing my miles and forgetting where I was, so it just pissed me off.
   
3. Mantras. At the Vancouver Marathon I was focused on conserving energy as much as I could in the early miles. Don't dodge too many people, don't get off track, don't overuse your arms, etc. I also had to remind myself not to pound my feet. It actually worked for a while to say "glide, glide, glide" as I ran, but let's face it, that sort of thing isn't sustainable for more than a mile or so.
4. Thinking About Baseball. Wait, that's a different blog...
5. Money. Not real money or real money issues. Sure, I could spend my running time thinking about the Shack budget, but I just don't think that would have much of a motivating or distracting effect. Long runs are the only time I play the "what would you do with x million dollars" game. It's a really complex one to figure out, especially if you happen to be running along the lake, past the waterfront homes and private moorings. I usually go with "that house, new boat" or something like that.
   
6. Delusions of Grandeur. I'll be honest, this one works, but only for a short term. Sorta like an energy drink or shot of espresso. Imagining the emotion and energy of finishing a race can be a nice 2 mile distraction. You can picture the clock, feel the elation of finishing, imagine the relief of crossing the timing mats, and puking on the volunteer removing your chip. Ahhh bliss.
   

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
I'm officially torn on the music thing. I like listening to my iPod when I run, but invariably a few different things happen. One, an inane pop song sneaks its way on there and bores itself into my brain never to be extracted. Two, I forget to charge it completely and lose power halfway through a run. Three, I get annoyed by the earphones or the cord or the little clip on my waistband and (often due to the cumulative effect of all three) want to pitch the damn thing into the river/lake/drainage ditch/garbage dumpster.

I do have a theory that I need to keep testing with this. Music seems to be the most memorable or apparent in the first 8 miles or so. Beyond that your brain is starting its slow descent into the fog of high mileage and even if the music is playing, you aren't going to really hear it.

All that said, it was a little moment of bliss when my Shuffle dialed up back-to-back Pearl Jam songs. "Alive" from back in the day, followed by their cover of The Who's "Love, Reign Over Me." The Who cover is fantastic, and I have a new appreciation for the percussion on that song after a recent night out with The Colleague. Seriously. Listen to the percussion. Go on. Do it.

I SMELL A SITCOM
Premise: Recently divorced liberal 30-Something keeps his house but spends all of his time down the street at his conservative friend's house because conservative friend is blindly loyal and supportive. Divorced liberal 30-Something only uses his own house as a place to store his kids' stuff and to host his trailer park girlfriend on the "down low." Conservative friend is a giant macho asshole who drives an impossibly big truck and treats women like shit. Still, liberal friend overlooks these character flaws in exchange for above-mentioned blind loyalty and access to dude culture.

Wait. That's not funny. Never mind.




ICE ICE BABY
I tried. I really did. I don't know how people do this. How are you really supposed to immerse yourself in an ice bath for anything more than a few seconds? This CAN'T be good for you. No way. Or maybe I'm missing something.



OH MY GOD, THIS FISH IS RAW!
I have said it before, and I'll say it again here: Sushi is the premier post-run food. A lot of easily digested protein wrapped in a little carbohydrate bomb, washed down with a Japanese beer? Heaven.