Holy Shit! I Have a Blog?

The Colleague kicked me in the head this morning with one of her thousand pairs of shoes (ask me how I know this number…) and reminded me that I have a blog that she used to read. But since my room full of monkeys at typewriters hasn’t produced anything of note recently, nothing has been posted. Slacker Monkeys. The close second cousins of Spider Monkeys.

So let’s play some catch up. But first, watch this clip. It may be my favorite YouTube clip since MyDick...


Here’s what GVB has been up to, in chronological list form:

1. Cursed everyone in the department and packed up for the summer. Fuck you, Sweater Girl and Pear Shaped Woman!
2. Delivered the 650 from Boise to Everett.
3. Sailed with The Colleague to Port Townsend en route to the San Juans.
4. Broke down in Port Townsend.
5. Sampled every bar in Port Townsend.
6. Spent an extra night in Port Townsend.
7. Met Crazy White Haired Mechanical Genius, who used the magic tools in his Yellow Van Truck Bus to fix the boat, charging us only one tuna sandwich and several paper towels.
8. Sailed to DadVB’s house for July 4th, also known as “Hey Everyone, this is The Colleague!”
9. Went on ill-fated Gulf Islands charter cruise (forever know as “The Trip”) with DVD and DadVB. No fun was had by anyone but yours truly. Highlight? Trail running on Cypress Island. Spectacular.
10. Vegas Baby! (Which unfortunately also included hung over drive to Pasadena from Vegas, which took 7 hours and featured such epically bad decisions as eating at Panda Express in the mall, and scarfing down BK French fries like I was courting a heart attack).
11. Pasadena? This is where The Colleague grew up? Hi dad. Hi Colleague’s childhood friends. Hi rich white people. Running in this town is as scary as running in the hood, but for very different reasons.
12. Here’s a nice house. Let’s move in! Ok? Ok. Towse, I’ll give you ONE guess which high school I know live walking distance from…turns out as an adult, my hometown isn’t so bad. I think I get why people voluntarily live there.
13. Montana? This is where The Colleague’s mom voluntarily lives? Hi Colleague’s brothers and cousins. Highlights? Floating the Clark Fork with the whole family, running at altitude (ouch), swimming at Flathead Lake.
14. Whidbey Island? Not bad. Daughter GVB’s stomach virus? Bad news. Sorry kid.
15. G Love and Special Sauce with Ozomatli. We won’t mention the third band. It hurts me too much to think about.

Now…here’s where we are now. The Colleague and I (and our respective offspring) are officially co-habitating. Now Sweater Girl and Pear Shaped Woman can REALLY come unglued at work. Fuck you.

Cap’n Ron and I are in full marathon training mode. Portland is October 7th. Our first long run of the training cycle went off without a hitch.

And, as you read this I am recovering from a day of packing the Urban Palace, a fast 7 miler, and a 22 mile bike ride from the Urban Palace to the New Suburban Estate.

Any questions?