Cap'n Ron and I are back from the moto trip to Joshua Tree and back. I'll let the narrative at Geomatic Guy do its thing. I am left with several unanswered questions:
- Which I-5 stretch is worse, 530 miles from Bothell, WA to Yreka, CA? Or 480 miles from Yreka, CA to Visalia, CA?
- Which is better, dirt riding in Joshua Tree National Park or paved mountain roads near Sequoia National Park?
- Which is worse, 29 degrees and snowing in the Mojave Desert, or 32 degrees and snowing outside of Bend, OR?
- Which town is more tragic, Barstow, CA or 29 Palms, CA?
- Which is worse, paying $4.39 a gallon for gas in Death Valley, or paying $20 for 2 gallons of gas from Stu the toothless hick in Shoshone, CA?
- Which is better, coasting into Shoshone, CA on fumes, or finding that an apparently normal power outage means there is no way to pump gas?
- Would you rather be killed by an angry military serviceman in Barstow or in 29 Palms?
- Why, exactly, are drivers in Washington the absolute worst drivers on the planet?
- Why does a 25 mph corner mean you can do 50 mph when a 10 mph corner means you can only do 5?
- Exactly what benign force kept Cap'n Ron and I from dumping the bikes in that deep, sandy corner on Geology Tour Road?
- Why is it my fault with Cap'n Ron drinks more beer than he planned? (And, I might also ask, why doesn't Cap'n Ron just plan on drinking more beer so he won't feel like he had too much?)
- How far into a trip do you have to be before 300 miles seems like a "quick hop?"
- Or, maybe the proper question here is this: How close to home do you have to be before powering through 300 miles seems like less torture than staying away for even one more day?
- Who the fuck lives in Beatty, NV?
- Is it worth playing $5 worth of video poker to get a comped drink that costs $6?
- Which is more interesting, 208 feet below sea level or 6,380 feet above sea level?
And now for the visual portion of the program:
Cap'n Ron making turns in the mountains:
Geology Tour Road, J Tree:
That Don't Look Good, Cap'n:
I'll give you one guess who had their wedding reception in this barn:
The Low Point, Death Valley:
The thing is, I would have paid $4.29 if they would have sold it to me. Shoshone, CA:
You can't see signs like this enough when your "Low Fuel" light is on:
Um...
Let's Go By Air
If it's all the same to you folks, I think I'll fly to San Francisco with The Colleague later this week...anything to get her off the streets. Work it. Work it. DVB will be there with all of the Media Studies geeks just DYING to give me their money at the poker table.
Let's Not Go At All
Still trying to pretend I'm training for a marathon. 4 weeks and 4 long runs left. Ouch.
In Fact, Why Don't YOU Go On Foot
The Colleague is walking 60 miles over three days to save the boobs. Send her your money. Help save the boobs.
7 comments:
Barstow is NOT tragic....evidence...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oi0nHFiQoWw
Me and my friends love our boys in 29 Palms!
1. I've been stranded in a Cessna in Barstow before. The only other way out was by Greyhound bus. Tra. Gic.
2. The baseline $2200 I have to raise for this walk will pretty much only save MY boobs, let alone the other four that mean the second most to me and my gene pool. Please give early and often.
Dude, when it is snowing and 32 degrees in Bend all you can think of is escape! Therefore, the 300+ miles to home suddenly becomes a major challenge.
On another note; Let 'The Colleague' know that I will be doing my part to save the boobs, both hers and the greater collective's.
Let's all now have a moment of silence in remembrance of the many boobs that have been lost to this terrible disease....... Thank you.
The Cap'n
Thanks, Cap'n!
Here's what I love. Picturing these two fags creating photo ops: "Ok, now you go around that curve and I'll shoot you!"
Oooh, if you think taking pictures of each other riding motorcycles is gay, you should have seen us at night in the tent! Super gay.
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