Race Rules Committee Report

A couple of weeks ago I was running the Burke Gilman Trail near the new Suburban Palace and saw a sign that said "Expect Heavy Pedestrian Traffic September 3rd". Turns out there was a half marathon planned that day. Hmmm. Why not throw a race into the training mix? So that night I signed up for the Super Jock and Jill Half Marathon.

Before I get into the race details, here are some New Running Race Rules as drafted and approved by The Colleague and myself as we arrived at the starting area today.

RACE RULES FOR RUNNERS

Runners Race Rule #1A: Never wear the shirt from that day's race in the actual race.

Runners Race Rule #1B: Never wear the shirt from the same race last year before, during, or after the actual race. No one cares that you ran this course last year.

Runners Race Rule #1C: Those "Such and Such Marathon Finisher" shirts are great for wearing around town or even training in, but they don't do much to impress the people at the starting area of a major race.

Runners Race Rule #2: You aren't as fast as the people around you. Line up farther back than you think you should.

Runners Race Rule #3: Thank all volunteers, cops, crossing guards, and friendly locals who come out to support your race.

Runners Race Rule #4: A fat out of shape Boeing engineer who finishes a half marathon in 4 hours deserves more acknowledgement than super-fast Lycra Man from Eugene.

Runners Race Rule #5: I'm all for combining walking events with running events, but any group of housewives walking five abreast on a narrow part of the course should be shot on sight.

Runners Race Rule #5A: Men who run races while their spouses walk the course must take at least one race off a year to walk with said spouse.

RACE RULES FOR ORGANIZERS

Organizers Race Rule #1: Gun time sucks. If you're using chip timing, you MUST have both starting and finishing mats. I shouldn't be counted for the time it takes for Crazy Legs McGee and his seven drinking buddies to get the hell out of my way.

Organizers Race Rule #1A: Use the shoelace timing chips. Whoever invented the timing chip that straps around your ankle should be killed.

Organizers Race Rule #2: All races should start and end at a brewery. Having the finish line at Red Hook? Brilliant! How good did a cold ESB sound at about mile 10?

Organizers Race Rule #3: Announce finishers' names before they get to the finish line. If a runner has friends and family supporting him, give them a chance to cheer to them TO the finish line, not across it. Duh.

Organizers Race Rule #3A: Have an advertised spectator area in the middle of the race, complete with split times, a clock, and announcers calling out runners' names.

Organizers Race Rule #3B: Have reliable splits on the course. Some wonk with a stopwatch sitting under a bridge calling out seconds doesn't count.

Organizers Race Rule #4: Real goodie bags. Coupons? Advertising? Ink pens? What the fuck? How about something useful?

Organizers Race Rule #5: Racers should be able to declare personal goals before the race and should be acknowledged for meeting or beating those goals. No one really cares who wins these things, except the winners.

Organizers Race Rule #6: T-Shirts AFTER the race, idiots. It goes like this: show up, stretch, hydrate, fuel, race, finish, timing chip off, water, "here's your t-shirt!"

Organizers Race Rule #6A: 2 t-shirts, idiots. Cheap one for everyone, cool tech shirt for finishers.

Organizers Race Rule #7: Out and back sections suck balls. And not in a good way. Loops, folks. Loops. The clusterfuck on the UW Bothell campus that runners at miles 6, 8, and 9 passing the same fuel station? Pure pain. No one wants to see the 5:00 milers on their way to the finish line while they are struggling up the hill at mile 6.

RACE RULES FOR SPECTATORS
Spectator Race Rule #1: If you don't want to be there, don't. Your spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend doesn't need you "cheering" him or her on if you are pissed that you aren't at home watching football.

Spectator Race Rule #1A: If you're coming out to cheer on a friend or loved one, it might help to know his or her goals so you can congratulate them at the finish. This means you, Bored Woodinville Housewife at Finish Line: "Hi honey! You finished in 1:40. Is that good? What place is that? What do you get?" Ugh.

Spectator Race Rule #2: Cheer for other people. Someone struggling through mile 11? Give them a pep talk! It sounds stupid from the sidelines, but even a complete stranger saying "Come on! Only 2 more miles! You're looking great!" matters. (see Organizer's Race Rule #3 and #3A regarding calling out runners' names)

Spectator Race Rule #3: Stay the fuck off the race course. This means you, fat stupid redneck from Bothell in the yellow Ford t-shirt on Main Street with your toothless girlfriend. "Der, what are all of these cones for?"


Ok, so to the race...GPS data is here. Comments below...

I've never actually run a race when I was seriously training, so I had no idea what to expect. In fact, I signed up for the Half just to see how the training would affect my racing. Short version: training works. How do I know?

1. I ran a very consistent pace (7:16) without using my GPS or a stopwatch on the course.

2. I was a full half minute per mile faster than my previous half marathon pace.

3. My heart rate stayed low most of the race, and when it did peak (on the steep climb around mile 6) it dropped right back down as soon as my pace evened out.

4. I had plenty of fuel and very little muscle fatigue.

5. I needed no recovery time the next day.

This race is a keeper, for sure. I'll come back next year. It is well organized, the course is fast, it's close to home, and it starts and ends at the Red Hook Brewery. That's hard to beat.

Now I'm back on the training for Portland. One month away now. Yikes! Cap'n Ron thinks I should revise my goal pace for the 26.2 based on this half, but I am holding to my original goals for Portland:

1. Finish

2. Don't get injured

3. Have fun running with the Cap'n

My plan is still to go out at 8:30 or so for the first 20 and see how I feel for the last 6. Since I haven't done a full 26.2 before, I have no idea how to push for a time. I'll race for time in Vancouver next spring...Of course, I was going to go out to this half marathon and run 8:00 miles and take it easy. Best laid plans and all.