Of Bike Rides, Shopping Sprees, and Headwinds

Cap'n Ron and I set out for a ride this morning. I swear we agreed to meet at 8:43, which means I was right on time. Cap'n must have been early.

From Everett Station east to Snohomish was fast and calm, aside from Cap'n Ron's complaints about his seat being too high. Something about his nuts hurting and his wife coming home from a trip tonight. Whatever. We half-ass searched Snohomish for a bike shop but quickly gave in and rode on to Monroe, where we knew there was a decent one.

Halfway to Monroe, and 15 miles into the trip, Cap'n Ron realized he hadn't started his computer. So instead of a detailed GPS map of our route, we have the map you see above. The red dot is our route. You have to push "start" for those things to work. Oh, and he forgot his sunglasses, which led to my realization that the Cap'n and I have the same retail trick when it comes to toys:

"I 'forgot' my glasses, I should go buy some new ones." This works for anything that fits under the credit limit of whatever card you are carrying. This, you might recall, is how I got my new iPod Nano, and how I intend to procure my new Garmin Forerunner. Here I am in Portland without my Forerunner! Oh NO! Better go to REI.

Short version of this retail trip, Cap'n Ron got some groovy new riding glasses. And a new friend. The girl at the counter acted like Cap'n Ron was the first man to pay any attention to her in her short and no doubt brutally torturous Monroe life.


The ride back from Monroe was fantastic. But who would have thought that a road named "High Bridge Road" would have so many fother mucking hills?

The last two miles sucked. And blew. Right on our faces. With rain. Ouch.

I still need a new saddle. The one I have is just not touching me the right way. Or in right places. Maybe they make a "Pocket Rocket" seat?

In other news, Al Bangorhard kicked some miles in the Queens Half Marathon. I looked it up, it isn't a marathon for Queens afterall. It's IN Queens. I like my version better. Anyway, Al B pulled 7:38 miles. Nice work there, Sparky.

Currently I am trying to decide if I should bring the bike with me to next week's conference in Portland (Ok, ok, Vancouver, shut up). I know I'll have a lot of down time between presentations...maybe I'll just hang out in the hotel room the whole time? Any votes here?

GVB's Moment of Joy and Spite for the day:

JackAss in F150 pulls up in front of Casa GVB and looks at the For Sale sign (which will remain up until the sale closes). JackAss looks at the flyer and reads the price. JackAss yells down the driveway to GVB: "Good luck with that buddy. Snort."

GVB says to himself: Good luck indeed. We got that plus some.

Still, Ms Realtor can take that sign down any time.

It's a Rough Friday

I had a long slow run planned for today, but my "First Friday Off in Weeks" self got the better of me. So, after rounding the kids up into Mrs. GVB's schoolyard shuttle, I took Denis Johnson back to bed with me. (I'm reading "SEEK" a fantastic book of essays. Look it up.)

I slept in so long I missed my window for the run. Damn. I guess I just lounge here a little longer before meeting Skipper Krumm and Cap'n Ron for a "Business Lunch" at the Butt. The Cap'n and I can argue over who gets to write off the expense. It's a consulting gig for me, but it's a business planning meeting for him. For the Skipper? Just a free lunch with beer.

Tomorrow, though, I have been given a hallpass from the horror of the opening day of fishing season (Mrs. GVB's parents live on a small trout lake near here, and the kids go there to "fish" every April.) I hate fishing, and I'm not a real fan of the bacon and egg breakfast either. Sorry, Mom In Law. So Mrs. GVB said the magic words: "Why don't you do something on your own in the morning."

God Damn Right.

Cap'n Ron and I will head out east on a long bike ride, so I'm not feeling too bad about my run being postponed until Sunday.

The new family buying Casa GVB sold their home today, so we're done with the whole transaction. Homelessness date has been pushed up to May 31. Start packing. RPD has offered to move the heavy stuff. CAG apparently is planning to pack my underwear for me. I'll be on a bike ride. Have fun.

Oh, and I know it makes me a pop culture geek, but did you see American Idol this week? One pair of used 1993 Five Ten Hueco climbing shoes (size 9) to the person who guesses which song from Tuesday is my new favorite.

What I Learned Today

The Washington State Ferry system serves a wireless network from their waiting area at the Edmonds Dock. This signal is strong enough to reach the following locations:

The deck at Rory's Pub

The beach at Bracket's Landing

This definitely expands the potential for online office hours.

GVB will be at the waterfront office today, kids. Bring your ID.

Total Blog Grab Bag

There's a lot to cover today, so let's get to it.

First, the official results are in from Sun Run. Turns out my watch was pretty damn accurate:

Total Time:
45:51

Pace Per Mile:
7:23

Overall Finish Place:
1588

Division Finish Place:
237

The Cap'n has sworn me to withhold his finish time, but I will say that it was on a sub-9 minute pace, even with all the beer I "made" him drink the night before. There is a nice wrap up of the race in today's Vancouver Sun.

My summary: Great run, nice course, fun people. The race is run very well, and to my amazement they got 50,000 people around that course without any major bottlenecks or other personnel spasms. One steep climb up to the first bridge crossing and a downhill start are the only real oddities of the course. The downhill start and the momentum of the crowd had me out to Mile One in under 7 minutes. Woah.

Second, Cap'n Ron made the mistake of letting me drive the A3 home from Vancouver. Don't tell his wife.

UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE WEEK: The Audi A3 is a hot, hot car.

Someone younger, less married, and more attractive could totally get chicks with a car like that. I was afraid to really drive it like I wanted to, but the good folks of Lynden got to hear the V6 as we sped through town.

Third, the border crossing back into the states involved two blood tests, a signed malpractice waiver, a rectal exam, and pupil dilation. Other than that we were fine. In other good news, the Cap'n's official Texas birth certificate lists his birth as "Legitimate". Congratulations, Cap'n.

In theory, these border crossing guards are professionals of Homeland Security. I offer you the following illegally obtained wire tap transcript as evidence. You decide:

Border Patrol: Where you boys coming from?
Sun Runners: Vancouver, sir.
BP: Where?
SRs: Uh, Vancouver. Canada. British Columbia.
BP: Oh. How long have you been there?
SRs: Just one day, for the Sun Run.
BP: The what?
SRs: Nevermind.
BP: You have any alcohol on board?
SRs (Exchanging odd looks..."On Board?" We're in a car!): No sir.
BP: (Looking at SRs with skepticism): Really?
SRs: Really. Well, except the stuff already in our veins.
BP: Enjoy your time in the US.
SRs: Hey, Jackoff. We live here.
BP: Please pull over next to the man with the latex gloves.

At least I feel exceptionally safe knowing that this dude is on the job. There's no getting any weapons or drugs past him. Once he saw that Cap'n Ron was indeed born in wedlock, all was well.

Fourth, I arrived home to find that Mrs. GVB had left me. Took her long enough. She's apparently not completely sane, however, since the itinerary she left on the bedside table next to the porn says she's coming back on Wednesday.

Fifth, I also arrived home to the official "Ex Casa GVB". She sold in 4 days for above asking price. Now the plumbing and wiring can go ahead and fail. Here's a tip for you prospective home buyers: inspect the house. Duh.

Official date of homelessness: June 15.

Official planned date of New Casa GVB completion: September 19.

That's a lot of San Juan cruising.

Sixth, There's a new gin in town. Hendrick's "Most Unusual" Gin.

The Hendrick's Martini:
INGREDIENTS
1 ½ oz. Hendrick's Gin
¾ oz. Dry Vermouth

PREPARATION
Stir Vermouth and Hendrick's Gin over ice cubes in mixing glass. Strain into martini glass. Serve with cucumber slice.

Very Yum. Hendrick's martinis will be served aboard the the good ship GVB all summer.

Finally, a note to my students...there are only so many 70 degree early spring days in Seattle. The odds of your esteemed writing instructor being in class on the next one are very, very slim. Today was a GIFT. I had better offers that included beaches and cocktails, among other things. Consider this an official amendment to the course syllabus. That is all.

And There Was Sun!

Thousands of Sun runners took to the streets of Vancouver this morning to celebrate the 22nd annual Vancouver Sun Run. And what a celebration it was with 50,746 participants entered in this year's race, making it the largest field to date. The previous record field of 49,743 was set in 2003.

I know I've shown you this photo before, but seriously, take a minute and look at it again. 50,000 people positioning for the start of the Sun Run. For someone who suffers from more than a little but of claustrophobia in large crowds (just ask The Colleague, who once saw me turn to a puddle of ooze in the hallways before commencement) this was still an amazing scene. About 5 minutes before the start I turned around and saw nothing but crazy Canadians stretched out for 5 city blocks.

More weekend details to come, but early returns are as follows:

45:55 overall time.

7:23 per mile.

I don't know what a "kilometer" is, but I averaged 4:36 per each of those.

Oh Canada!

Can someone explain to me why they patrol the border between the US and Canada? Or why they need to see my birth certificate to let me INTO Canada? Really? Are you worried that I am smuggling drugs INTO this country? This is where we come to GET our drugs. Don't you read the New York Times?

Sheesh.

Cap'n Ron and I are in the Great White North staring at Canadian chicks and prepping (read: drinking beer) for the Sun Run. For the first time in decades the weather is supposed to be nice. I'm shooting for a 48 minute race. We'll see. With 50,000 people running, the first mile is going to be a traffic jam.

Oh, and yes, Canadian Chicks Rule. Just ask them.

This One is For Al Bangorhard

Franco makes history as Mets roll on

By BERNIE WILSON

AP Sports Writer

SAN DIEGO — The New York Mets must have known what they were doing when they signed Julio Franco to a two-year contract. Franco, 47, became the oldest player in major league history to hit a home run when he connected for a two-run, pinch-hit shot in the eighth inning Thursday night to help the New York Mets rally for a 7-2 win over the San Diego Padres.

Ok ok. This has been a pretty impressive April for the normally hapless and pathetic Mets. But Orange and Blue? Really? You mean those aren't the throw-back colors? They wear that shit every day? Tragic.

Still, won't this make August even MORE fun when the Braves are 5 games up and Pedro Martinez is throwing at batters' heads again?

Raining here like it is Seattle or something. Woke up early with designs on a light jog, but I didn't feel like fighting the two-by-two marching animals on their way down Noah's Shipyard. I might do something this evening.

Sun Run is looking like it will actually have sun. Forecast for clear skies and mid-60s this weekend. This, coupled with the Mets great start, are two of the signs of the apocalypse. There are others, please contact my 900 number for details. 99 cents for the first minute, $3.99 for each additional minute. Over 18 only please.

The only real questions now:

Will Cap'n Ron's warrants from his street brawling days in Texaas keep him from crossing the border?

Will Cap'n Ron really get permission to drive the Admiral's new Audi to Canada?

How many beers with Cap'n Ron and I talk ourselves into drinking the night before the race in the spirit of "carb loading and hydrating"? (beer neither helps load carbs nor hydrates, by the way).

The Mystery of the 400 Dollar Towel Rack

Mrs. GVB and I met with someone called a "Design Consultant" today. I was hoping for someone along the lines of Stanford from Sex in the City but we got plain Jane from Kirkland instead.




She had a nasty stain on the ass of her Gap khakis. But I didn't say anything lest Mrs. GVB assume I was staring at Plain Jane's ass.

Which I was.

So was Mrs. GVB, because she mentioned the stain when we got back in the car.

This meeting was to select "upgrades" for the new Casa GVB. Turns out they'll sell you the house for the list price, but if you want to shit, shower, or shave, you have to pay extra. Of course.

Oh, but don't worry, once you pay cash for 20% of the total upgrade cost, you can roll the rest into your mortgage note at closing. Nice. So I'm going to be paying for the 150 dollar garage light fixture for 30 years.

Happily, Mrs. GVB is completely and totally organized when it comes to this sort of thing. Aside from nicer sinks and plumbing fixtures, and the extra wiring runs I insisted on (we HAVE to have the bedroom and family room pre-wired for a plasma television, don't we?!) we didn't do much.

Oh, and the extra large water heater. I loves me some long showers.

But wait!

"Here's the standard towel rack for your master bath..." Plain Jane shows us a thorny stick she found out on the sidewalk. "It will be screwed to the wall with mis-matched rusty slotted screws. Or, you can upgrade to this package, which will switch out all of the bathroom accessories to a nice brushed nickel finish. It's only 400 dollars."

A $400 towel rack? That better be one magic piece of chrome. I better be able to tune in SIRIUS on that thing. It should dry my ass FOR ME for $400.



So of course we bought it. And one for the kids' bathroom too.

Happily we were done early, and I had the bike with me. So I pedalled myself from Kirkland to the office (37 miles in all, through some of my childhood stomping grounds, which was cool).

Now I'm sweating all over student essay drafts:

"Nice start, but this needs a lot of editing attention."

"Good start, but perhaps you could spend a little more time on the sentence editing?"

"I like the content here, but would it fucking kill you to edit your own work?"

"For fuck's sake! Do you know how much editors get paid!!!"

"Jesus H Christ, did your 6 year old step brother write this for you?"

"Um, next time write the paper before you start in on the Jack Daniels."

"Could you send me the names of all of your high school English teachers so I can firebomb their houses?"

"Do your parents know you are wasting their money on tuition and books?"

I Could Need New Toys...and Music...and Leadership

Early reports from Cap'n Ron are that the new Garmin Forerunner 305 is a winner for us techno gadget freak types. Do I really need another wrist-mounted pace/time/distance/location/heart rate device? Hell yes I do.

I'll wait for more full reports from the Cap'n before busting into my Blackjack and Craps fund. Stay tuned.

The playlist for yesterday's 4 miler:

"I Must Be High" Wilco
"Fireplace" REM
"She Gives me Love" The Godfathers
"You Got Me" The Roots and Erykah Badu*
"Santa Monica" Everclear
"The Long Cut" Uncle Tupelo
"Barely Breathing" Duncan Sheik
"Reach the Rock" Havana 3AM
"Can't you Hear Me Knocking" Rolling Stones
"Right Hand Man" Joan Osborne
"Honor and Harmony" G Love and Special Sauce
"Pretty Pink Ribbon" Cake


In other news, all the wrong people seem to be quitting the White House. Why can't the people who are actually doing the damage step aside? McClellan is a complete tool, but all he is doing is reading from a bad, bad script.

Mix Tapes Get Chicks

I have essays to grade and classes to plan, so of course I am making new playlists for my Nano. Here is my latest favorite for a moderate run pace:

"Eight Easy Steps" Alanis Morissette
"Loser" Beck
"Einstein on the Beach" Counting Crows
"Rodeo Clowns" Jack Johnson with G Love
"Tanning Bed Song" Shawn Mullins
"San Andreas Fault" Natalie Merchant
"I Alone" Live
"Everybody Out of the Water" Wallflowers
"Gone Going" Black Eyed Peas
"St Teresa" Joan Osborne
"Pictures of You" The Cure (at 7:40 in length, this is a nice one-mile song. It is rather creepy when your splits and your music click over at exactly the same time.)
"Feed the Tree" Belly
"Cornflake Girl" Tori Amos

Still putting together a good speed metal mix. Anyone have any Slayer or Megadeth I can rip?

I Knew it Felt Cold This Morning...

Demonstrators gather for Cheney visit
Vice president to speak at GOP fundraiser in Everett

By Melissa Slager and Jerry Cornfield
Herald Writers

People were gathering this morning near the Everett hotel where Vice President Dick Cheney will be speaking at a lunch-time fundraiser for Republican Congressional candidate Doug Roulstone.

A crowd of about 30 people - some carrying signs supporting the vice president, others protesting the war in Iraq - took up positions along the sidewalk near the Holiday Inn where the event is planned.

People in support of Cheney and those who said they were in opposition carried U.S. flags during the mid-morning demonstration.

Don Quale, 59, Lake Forest Park, was the first person to show up to share his views. He took up a spot at the corner of Pacific Avenue and Pine Street, across from the hotel.

Quale held a sign thanking Cheney for support of the military. "It's a chance to get our message to the vice president that there are supporters despite the vilification," he said.

Chad Shue, 53, Everett, carried "Bush lied" sign. He said he represented progressive Democrats in Snohomish County.

"I just want to make sure Vice President Dick Cheney isn't as welcome here as he thinks he is."

The best part of this? Cheney is staying at the Holiday Inn. No shit.

Math for English Majors

Got up at o-dark-thirty to get in my last real run before Sunday's Vancouver Sun Run 10k. (Ok,ok, I hit the snooze ONCE, but I was still at the trailhead by 5:30. Shut up.)

Cold and still dark when I set out, but I had me some good tunes and a fleece skull cap to cover my baldness. After a .5 mile warm up jog I set out to do a decent length out and back route.

Here's the math game. I'll give you the total time, you give me the distance and per mile pace:

Total Time: 47:28

Winner gets a half-used stick of Body Glide and a Malt Nut Powerbar that I found in my alpine pack from 1999. Yum.

FYI

YES! Natalie Merchant. NO! I am not high. See?

Get Out of My County

Future heart-failure victim and current Vice Emperor of the United States Dick Cheney arrived in Everett today...

EVERETT - City and county police expect to be stretched thin this week as two world leaders visit Everett within days of each other.

"It's kind of a double whammy for us," Snohomish County Sheriff' Rick Bart said. "We're going to be stretched to the max. It's going to be three full days of overtime."

Everett police, Snohomish County sheriff's deputies, Boeing Co. security and Washington State Patrol troopers will assist the U.S. Secret Service with security when Vice President Dick Cheney and President Hu Jintao of China visit Everett.

Sadly, he will be a popular addition to the local landscape.

Something About Jesus

Happy Re-Birthday, Jesus. I bought you some plastic pastel eggs and filled them with spare change and jelly beans. I hope you like them.

Got up early-ish to meet the good Cap'n for a run before the In Law Family Meat Fest began. Even if I ate meat, the sight of a 22 pound ham on the kitchen counter would be too much for me to handle. Yargh. Looked even better after it sat there and cooled down for a couple of hours. Thank god for the fruit tray and the relative who works at a bakery. Bagels anyone? It turns out it is possible to eat well, even when all evidence in front of you suggests the opposite.

Now I am starving, mind you, but there is a bag of Ruffle's at home. I'll survive.

The Cap'n and I did a nice 5.5 mile loop through the semi-affluent neighborhood above the marina in Everett. Nice and easy, 9:45 or so. Felt great to get out, even if it was cold and I was missing the chance to see Jesus rise from the dead and strike me down for my earthly transgressions.

Sun Run is next weekend. Still trying to decide on a good goal pace. Anyone?

Moisture of Many Types

So let's start with the weather yesterday. I sat in my office on the phone with Cap'n Ron, who was watching weather maps as we prepared to ride the 20 miles from Edmonds to Everett, where Truckasaurus was parked waiting for me.

Those big bright colored cells on the weather radar? Oh. That's weather alright. But it was technically still dry, so we braved it and headed north. The 20 mph tailwind didn't hurt much...Turned in to a nice ride just on the edge of a nasty downpour. I arrived to Casa GVB in a complete monsoon. No real data on the ride. I forgot to push "Start" on the computer. Oops.

This morning was more threatening but dry again. I had a 5 mile plan and after pushing the kids out the door, I set out.

Some days it just hurts. The first 2 miles sucked. Every stride was work. I almost cashed it in and went to the pub for an oatmeal stout. But no! I pressed on. Wooopsy.

At 3 miles I felt better. The God of all the people who hate me must have been watching because the heavens opened up on me. The wind decided to come straight out of the southwest (read: in my face) and it rained. Really rained. Betty McDonald "The Egg and I" sorta rain. Run for the car or stand under a tree sorta rain. This is what I get for running a path that is in the foothills of one of the wettest mountain ranges in the country.

So Mr Squishy shoes pressed on. What the hell, I'm already wet. Besides, I had Jack Johnson on the Nano. I could pretend it was Hawaiian rain. Sorta.

Ended up finishing the 5 in 41:44, which is an 8:21 pace if the math is correct.

Ms Realtor is at the house this morning taking photos and such for the listing. Time to sell this thing and get out. Anyone want a house?

It's off to work for me. Miss me while I'm gone.

In Love With Another Woman

I finally broke down last night and told Mrs GVB that I love another woman. We were in bed at the time, and I had just finished reading Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell. From the back flap of the dust jacket, Sarah, as I refer to her, stared at me with those ultra-liberal, ultra-literate eyes from behind the whimsy of that semi-tomboy haircut, and I lost it.

When Mrs. GVB seemed skeptical of my latest love, I showed her the picture.

“Whatever. Add her to the list.” Eye roll.

The list. Where is that list? Ah, here in the bedside table next to my copy of Music for Torching by AM Homes (who, incidentally, is also on the list). How can you not love a woman who tells the world: "I'm a fiction writer. I'm a big, fat liar"?


It is a sign of the maturity of the GVB relationship that I no longer have to scratch a name off the bottom in order to add one to the top. That's a good thing, because I can't bear to part with Natalie Merchant just yet. You never know...

How can you not love a woman who writes like this?

When writing of John Noyes, the founder and patriarch of the Oneida community in New York, Sarah has this to say:

Noyes broke down the sex act into three parts – the beginning, marked by “the simple presence of the male organ in the female,” the middle, involving a “series of reciprocal motions,” and of course the end, an “ejaculatory crisis which expels the seed.” Naturally, one’s thoughts turn to canoeing….

How hot is she? I’ve got to go read some more.

Brought the bike into work today and will brave whatever this shitty weather throws at me for a nice long ride home this afternoon. 25 miles, give or take. Rough.

9 days and counting to the Sun Run. Oy.

The Bigger Dance is Here!

Alright boys and girls, it's time for the Bigger Dance, the contest that pits 64 babes against one another for our amusement.

NCAA tourney brackets blow. This is the real thing.

Click here to go to the KJR AM website and fill out your bracket.

Consider this an official challenge against my bracket. I've been doing my research, reading Maxim and FHM in the 7-11 across the street from campus.

First matches are Thursday. Don't delay.

GVB, who do you think will win? Hmmm. Not telling.

Who The Fuck Are the 38%?

begin rant

Bush's Job Approval Rating Continues to Swoon
Forty-Seven Percent of Americans 'Strongly' Disapprove of Handling of the Presidency
Washington Post

Political reversals at home and continued bad news from Iraq have dragged President Bush's standing with the public to a new low and boosted Democratic chances of wresting control of Congress from Republicans in the November elections, according to the latest Washington Post-ABC News poll.

The new survey found that 38 percent of the public approved of the job Bush is doing as president, down 3 percentage points in the past month and his worst showing in Post-ABC polling on this key measure since he became president. Sixty percent disapproved of his performance.

Bush's overall job approval has remained below 50 percent for nearly a year while the proportion of the public critical of the president consistently has topped 50 percent. And perhaps more ominously for the president, 47 percent say they "strongly" disapproved of Bush's handling of the presidency -- more than double the percentage who strongly approved (20 percent) and the second straight month that the proportion of Americans intensely critical of the president was larger than his overall job approval rating.

The public is more critical of Bush's performance in specific areas. A third approved of his handling of immigration issues while six in 10 disapproved. And as thousands gather on the Mall today to protest efforts to tighten immigration policy, three in four Americans said the government isn't doing enough to keep illegal immigrants from entering the United States.

But more than six in 10 support reforms that would allow some illegal immigrants to obtain legal status and permanent citizenship if they meet certain conditions. Only one in five say all illegal immigrants should be declared felons and not allowed to work in the United States.

The continued bloodshed and political chaos in Iraq continues to drag down support for the war, the new survey found. Barely four in 10 -- 41 percent -- currently say the war was worth fighting, down five percentage points since December.

Nearly six in 10 -- 58 percent -- currently say the war was not worth the cost while nearly half say they "strongly" feel the conflict wasn't worth fighting. The latest result marked the 13th consecutive Post-ABC survey since December 2004 in which a majority of Americans has questioned the value of U.S. involvement in Iraq.

I've never liked or approved of this jackass, but at one point I sort of understood why people did. But how can anyone actually APPROVE of this fiasco?!?! Fuck.

end rant

Things I've Done this Weekend

Saturday: Attended the 48 Degrees North boater's Swap Meet at GasWorks (bought nothing...shocking), Breakfasted at The Varsity with Ralph-o-Matic who enlightened me on the nuances of "good tits and bad tits" (80 something years of experience makes this a long lecture), met Mrs. GVB to look at houses...

Sunday: Ran a nice 12 miler (9:44 overall, thank you), went back north with Mrs. GVB and the kids to look again at some houses, returned home owners of new Casa GVB somewhere north of here.

Sunday Afternoon: Made arrangements to sell the current Casa GVB.

Sunday Evening: Came to the realization that I am going to homeless for four months while they finish building our house. Wrote this blog.

So, nothing much.

What about you?

How to Kill a Friday

What genius decided that Fridays were a good day to schedule faculty meetings? Doesn’t Monday or Wednesday make more sense? On Monday, everyone is getting started up for the week, and everything ahead of them looks a lot like work. On Wednesday, there is some work behind you and some work ahead of you. If (heaven forbid) you actually get some things done at the meeting and make some plans, there are still two days to do something about it before the weekend.

But fill a seminar room with 50 professors, 4 administrators, and the college president on a Friday afternoon, when all anyone can think about is getting plastered at Happy Hour down at Scott’s Bar and Grill? Come on. The chances of any of us listening to this drivel for 2 hours? Slim.

What is a strategic plan, anyway? And how many times can you hear a president say “key indicators” before you begin to plot his death? (Turns out the answer is 7).

Anyhoo…Friday started with an early lunch in Edmonds. On the drive into town I see out on the Sound a lovely but VERY slow green-hulled sailboat with a nice gray UK jib. Anyone recognize this boat? Of course, the Krumm’s don’t believe in cellular technology, so there was no way to hail the admiral and skipper. Oh well. Soon after they passed the ferry landing they crapped out and doused the sails…Hey, Krumm, what was that canvas thing over the companionway? Looked like a dodger to me, but couldn’t be true…

Next came the aforementioned faculty meeting and happy hour and a farewell party for a colleague. Good times.

After battling traffic north, I met Cap’n Ron for some climate-controlled climbing adventures, where NPAW could be found lounging on the couch and gawking at young men in tights.

Cap’n Ron, you’ll recall, is a PROFESIONAL SURVEYOR. Why do I remind you of this? Well, it turns out that the good Cap’n went for a “little” run before meeting at the gym. Our brave surveyor scoped out a nice 3 mile route. The only problem with this 3 mile route, is that it was 6 miles. Oops.

After some week ass climbing (I swear I could make those deadpoint moves last week!) we swaggered our weak asses up to the brewpub for some Internal Alcohol Rub therapy.

I left when the climbing gym moms and dads arrived to dance on the tables.

Cap’n Ron stayed with Andy’s mom. Andy’s mom has got it going on. Doo doo doo.

Generic Blog Post

Ran today.

3 miles.

26:45 total. 8:55 per mile.

HR Max: 178
HR Ave: 160

Please recycle.

Ssssshhhh. GVB is Resting

Yesterday was a big day. I'll rest today.

There's always tomorrow for my easy day...

What Are You Running Away From?

Happy birthday to me. Yup. Keep the cards with large demonimations comin'.

One year closer to death. Still younger than Al B. Hell, still younger than all y'all. Which makes getting my ass kicked by RPD that much more humbling.

Running like hell away from middle age.

Got a great early birthday gift yesterday, the details of which you can read in next month's Penthouse Letters

I never thought this would happen to me, but...

For my next birthday gift it looks increasingly like I am getting a new house. I'm going to need a helicopter to get to work pretty soon. And a CanPass to get over the border. Actually, tonight is a long childless dinner with Mrs. GVB at our fave Asian joint. How much wasabi can a man ingest in one week? I'm about to find out.

There might be martinis involved. But damn it, I earned 'em...

This morning I slept in as long as the toddler chaos would allow and then set off for a 6 mile run. It's my fucking birthday, man. I'm going all out.

And I did. Perfect day. Sunny and cool, not a breath of wind, and not a soul anywhere on the trail (I am starting get hooked on running the Centennial Trail. It's well marked, wooded, and peaceful, with very few crossings or choke points to worry about.)

So after a half mile jog (to the first mile marker) I kicked in.

6 miles on the button. 49:37. 8:16 overall. This is fast as hell for me. Must be the haircut.

Since my goal for SunRun is 8:40 miles, I am feeling decent about the race.

BodyGlide is performing nicely. Thanks for asking.

What's Your Heart Rate, Baby?

My wife worries about my heart. Rate. She must. Because as I was leaving this morning for a "short" bike ride with Cap'n Ron, she sprung a brand new Polar F6 heart rate monitor on me. Cool beans. I think I'll wear it to bed.

The Cap'n and I took off from Everett Marina for a casual Sunday bike ride.

"30 miles seems about good, Ron. I need to be home in a couple of hours."

42 miles later we were back. I was late. Oh well.

Great ride. East from Everett, across the Snohomish delta, into the nasty kitsch capital of Snohomish, south east out to Monroe, and back to Everett. The pertinant data are as follows:

42 miles, 16.1 MPH average, max speed 31 MPH.

My cool ass new Polar HRM says:

Average HR: 158

Max HR: 182

Other variables:

Dead Skunks: 1

Dead Snakes: 3 (I only killed one of them)

Rednecks in F150s: Countless

Times GVB mis-shifted on a climb: Countless

Hills that totally kicked GVBs Ass: 1

Amount of preparation GVB has done for Monday's classes: zip.

That is all.

Miles, Martinis, and Gay Men on Stage

Saturday...ahh Saturday in the GVB household. It was an easy run day for me, and I did my typical 3 mile route (9:15, 9:05, 8:54) in the morning, in the rain, in the wind. Ugh. The creeks be running high, Jeb. They gonna be overflowin'!

After NPAW arrived to save us from our children for the day, Mrs. GVB and I headed out for Seattle. While Mrs. GVB had lunch with her mother (and got a nice pedicure, Al. I can give you the number if you like) I dined and drank with The Former Student at a martini joint downtown. The Former Student likes her martinis, and she almost leapt over the bar when Clarence the Bartender grabbed the vermouth bottle.

Of particular entertainment value for me was introducing The Former Student to the mother of my wife. Mrs. GVB's mom stopped short of calling The Former Student a homewrecker, but just barely. Nice.

Two martinis makes an off-Broadway version of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" fairly tolerable. The male lead, the Mrs. and I agreed, was smokin' hot, and the dude could sing, too. His boyfriend is a lucky man. Mrs. GVB is a major theater nut, so I get to see these darn things just about every weekend. This is the third time I've seen this particular show. It wasn't bad. After weeks of American Idol, it is refreshing to hear people who actually have vocal training and know their lines...

Sunday is a bike day. The Cap'n and I are heading east for a 30 miler. I am confident that my classes will prep themselves while I am gone.