Bicycle Bob's Bargain Basement Blowout

I broke into my daughter's piggy bank this weekend and finally replaced my very old, very tired, very heavy mountain bike turned commuting bike, turned over-accessorized piece of shit. Mrs. GVB kicked in some funds and called it a birthday gift. I earned the rest pimping Al B Hard out on the streets of Suffolk County.

MWM seeks 54" road bike for long rides in the country and occasional ill-advised long, over committing race. Carbon fiber ok.

I had a nice Scattante all picked out, but upon arrival at the adoption agency I found that they had been spoken for by more caring young men who happened to make the sale before me. To make it worse, the very bike I wanted was sitting there with a "HOLD" sign on it. Damn you middle-class Seattle urbanites! At least I got to ride it before it went home to Wallingford on the back of an Audi A4.

Ah, but there are other bikes here. This is a bike shop, afterall.

"We have some of the old Fujis," my new best friend says to me, after my third failed attempt at getting him to take the HOLD sign off my bike.

"Fuji? Since when do you carry Fuji here?" Apparently my eyes brightened and I became slightly erect, because Mr. New Best Friend walked me over to a different rack.

Here's where it gets fun.

You can have the 2004 version (only one left, get it while you can!) for X dollars, which happens to be exactly what Mrs. GVB was going to allow me to spend.

It's a really nasty red color and has three year old components that are pretty good. The wheel set blows.

Mrs. GVB glowers from over near the helmets. Just because she approved the spending limit, doesn't mean she's happy with the purchase itself.

Or, you can have the 2005 version for X + 200 dollars. Better components but we really only have it in 52". Size matters.

"What about this one? It's a 54."

"Oh," Mr. New Best Friend says. "That's the 2006. Just got it in."

"There's no price on it," thinking perhaps it's free today.

"I'll go check." Poor fella has to work now.

He returns with bad news and worse math skills.

"It's X + 400."

Firmly out of Mrs. GVB's acceptable recreational purchase limit.

"Yeah, but isn't it on sale this weekend like everything else?"

"I'll go check." My cuteness is wearing off with Mr. New Best Friend.

"It's on sale. 20% off."

"And what about this $300 rebate from Fuji?" I ask, looking at the sign hanging from the handlebars.

"Oh yeah. That too."

Well, let's ride this bitch.

She's a little more aggressive than I was looking for in geometry, but since I didn't really know what I was looking for in geometry, you should ignore that last statement. Really, she's a middle of the road design, but with some nice long-ride features like carbon stays and fork. The saddle has to go, but that can wait.

When said and done, Mr. New Best Friend charges me X - 200 for my new bike.

And no, Cap'n Ron, I don't want to do the STP this year.